SEX FLAWS

     The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation.

     Most Middle Eastern countries recognize the following Islamic law:
"After having sexual relations with a lamb, it is a mortal sin to eat its flesh."

     In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the
animals must be female.  Sexual relations with a male animal are punishable by death.

     In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but
is forbidden from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only
see their reflection in a mirror.

     Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This even
applies to undertakers; the sex organs of the deceased must be covered with
a brick or piece of wood at all times.

     There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside
and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex
for the first time. Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for
virgins to marry. 

     In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous
husband, but may only do so with her bare hands. (The husband's lover,
on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired.)

      Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England - but only in
tropical fish stores.

     In Cali, Columbia, a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the
first time this happens her mother must be in the room to witness the act.

     In Santa Cruz, Bolivia it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman
and her daughter at the same time.

     In Maryland, USA, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with
one exception: they may be sold from a vending machine and only 
"in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises."

     In Nigeria, On 25 September 2003 Amina Lawal had her death sentence by
stoning overturned by the Sharia court of appeal, and is now free. In their successful
defense, lawyers used the notion of "extended pregnancy", arguing that under Sharia
law, a five year interval is possible between human conception and birth.

     In Iran, If a man sodomizes the son, brother, or father of his wife after their marriage, the marriage remains valid; and  the sperm of any animal whose blood spurts when its throat is cut is impure.
[ MORE ] ~ Ayatollah Khomeini

1. When I was born, I was given a choice - A big dick or a good memory. I don't remember, what I chose.

2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.

4 Impotence: Nature's way of saying 'No hard feelings...'

5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - 'don't' and 'stop', unless they are used together.

6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.

7. There are three stages of sex in a man's life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.

8. Virginity can be cured.

9. Virginity is not dignity, its lack of opportunity.

10. Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

11. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dialer were too small.

12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.

13. Q: What's an Australian kiss?
       A: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.

14. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing......

15. Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a mans life?
       A: Life sucks, job sucks, and the wife doesn't.

16. Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
       A: Breasts don't have eyes.

17. Despite the old saying, 'Don't take your troubles to bed', many men still sleep with their wives!!