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Faith-Based Family Values

 

JUDAS hung himself
after his betrayal of Jesus.
  -- Matthew 27:3-5.

JUDAS exploded
in the middle of his
field, and all his
guts gushed out.
 
-- Acts 2:1-15.

Genesis   6:1-2, 4

God's sons come down from heaven to have sex with Earth women.

Ken's Guide to the Bible...

Galatians    2:16

... a person is justified not by works of the law, but through faith in Jesus Christ.

Galatians    2:21

... if justification comes through the law, then Christ dies for nothing.

Exodus 20:17

A wife is a man’s property: You shall not covet your neighbor’s house. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male or female servant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.

Exodus 21:7

Daughters can be bought and sold: If a man sells his daughter as a servant, she is not to go free as male servants do.

Deuteronomy 22:28-29

A raped daughter can be sold to her rapist: 28 If a man happens to meet a virgin who is not pledged to be married and rapes her and they are discovered, 29 he shall pay her father fifty shekels of silver. He must marry the young woman, for he has violated her. He can never divorce her as long as he lives.

1 Kings 11:3

Collecting wives and sex slaves is a sign of status: He [Solomon] had seven hundred wives of royal birth and three hundred concubines, and his wives led him astray.

Deuteronomy 22:20-21

Used brides deserve death: If, however the charge is true and no proof of the girl’s virginity can be found, she shall be brought to the door of her father’s house and there the men of her town shall stone her to death.

Numbers 31:17-18

Women, but only virgins, are to be taken as spoils of war: Now kill all the boys. And kill every woman who has slept with a man, 18 but save for yourselves every girl who has never slept with a man.

Leviticus 15: 19-31

Menstruating women are spiritually unclean: 19 “‘When a woman has her regular flow of blood, the impurity of her monthly period will last seven days, and anyone who touches her will be unclean till evening. 20 “‘Anything she lies on during her period will be unclean, and anything she sits on will be unclean. 21 Anyone who touches her bed will be unclean; they must wash their clothes and bathe with water, and they will be unclean till evening. 22 Anyone who touches anything she sits on will be unclean; they must wash their clothes and bathe with water, . . . 30 The priest is to sacrifice one for a sin offering and the other for a burnt offering. In this way he will make atonement for her before the LORD for the uncleanness of her discharge. 31 “‘You must keep the Israelites separate from things that make them unclean, so they will not die in their uncleanness for defiling my dwelling place,[a] which is among them.’”

Leviticus 12: 1-8

A woman is twice as unclean after giving birth to girl as to a boy: A woman who becomes pregnant and gives birth to a son will be ceremonially unclean for seven days, just as she is unclean during her monthly period. ‘ 3 On the eighth day the boy is to be circumcised. 4 Then the woman must wait thirty-three days to be purified from her bleeding. She must not touch anything sacred or go to the sanctuary until the days of her purification are over. 5 If she gives birth to a daughter, for two weeks the woman will be unclean, as during her period. Then she must wait sixty-six days to be purified from her bleeding. 6 ” ‘When the days of her purification for a son or daughter are over, she is to bring to the priest at the entrance to the tent of meeting a year-old lamb for a burnt offering and a young pigeon or a dove for a sin offering.

Numbers 30:1-16

A woman’s promise is binding only if her father or husband agrees: 2 When a man makes a vow to the LORD or takes an oath to obligate himself by a pledge, he must not break his word but must do everything he said. 3 “When a young woman still living in her father’s household makes a vow to the LORD or obligates herself by a pledge 4 and her father hears about her vow or pledge but says nothing to her, then all her vows and every pledge by which she obligated herself will stand. 5 But if her father forbids her when he hears about it, none of her vows or the pledges by which she obligated herself will stand; the LORD will release her because her father has forbidden her. . . . . A woman’s vow is meaningless unless approved by her husband or father. But if her husband nullifies them when he hears about them, then none of the vows or pledges that came from her lips will stand. Her husband has nullified them, and the LORD will release her. 13 Her husband may confirm or nullify any vow she makes or any sworn pledge to deny herself.

1 Corinthians 14:34

Women should be seen not heard: Women should remain silent in the churches. They are not allowed to speak, but must be in submission, as the law says.
Link Trusting Doubt: A Former Evangelical Looks at Old Beliefs in a New Light ~ Valerie Tarico

Colossians 3:18

Wives should submit to their husband’s instructions and desires: Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.

Ephesians 5:22-24

In case you missed that submission thing . . . :  Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

1 Timothy 2: 11-15

More submission – and childbearing as a form of atonement: A woman should learn in quietness and full submission. 12 I do not permit a woman to teach or to assume authority over a man; she must be quiet. 13 For Adam was formed first, then Eve. 14 And Adam was not the one deceived; it was the woman who was deceived and became a sinner. 15 But women will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith, love and holiness with propriety.

1 Corinthians 11:2-10

Women were created for men: For if a woman does not cover her head, she might as well have her hair cut off; but if it is a disgrace for a woman to have her hair cut off or her head shaved, then she should cover her head. 7 A man ought not to cover his head, since he is the image and glory of God; but woman is the glory of man. 8 For man did not come from woman, but woman from man; 9 neither was man created for woman, but woman for man.

Revelation 14:3-4

Sleeping with women is dirty: No one could learn the song except the 144,000 who had been redeemed from the earth. 4 These are those who did not defile themselves with women, for they remained virgins. They follow the Lamb wherever he goes. They were purchased from among mankind and offered as first-fruits to God and the Lamb.

Galatians    3:25

Now that faith has come, we are no longer under the supervision of the law.

Thessalonians   2:15-16

... [the Jews] killed the Lord Jesus and the prophet and drove us out; they displease God and oppose everyone by hindering us from speaking to Gentiles so that they may be saved

Revelations    22:16

Jesus is the Offspring of David and of the morning star (Venus) .
Jesus' mother is a planet. 

     The Mormons --
       
Planet KOLOB
       
Planet KOLOB Song

Romans   14:23  

Everything that does not come from faith is sin.

Ephesians   5:22-24

Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.  For the Husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church... as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

"I know the Bible is true because it says it's true."

 

 

 

 

John    5:32, 34

If you believed Moses, you should believe me, for he wrote about me.


Make your own church signs
Church Humor
The Saudi Ambassador

Leviticus   20:13

Male homosexuals should be put to death.

Genesis    iii:21

Is a tailor and clothier

Exodus    vi:4

Is a baker

Exodus    xxxii:14

Changes his mind

Prov.    xxvi:10

Rewards transgressors

Jer.    iv:19

Is troubled in his bowels and his heart and makes a noise

Amos    vii:7

He stands on a wall with a plumbline.

Deuteronomy    xxv:11-12

If two men are fighting and the wife of one of them comes to rescue her husband from his assailant, and she reaches out and seizes him by his private parts, you shall cut off her hand. Show her no pity.

Deuteronomy    25:11-12

Gentlemen -- if you're in a fight and your lady might jump in to lend you a hand by squeezing your opponent's... ahem... "secrets," you'd better take time out to stop her.
When men strive together one with another, and the wife of the one draweth near for to deliver her husband out of the hand of him that smiteth him, and putteth forth her hand, and taketh him by the secrets.  Then thou shalt cut off her hand, thine eye shall not pity her.

Exodus 21:17

You can kill your kid if he bad-mpuths you -
And he that curseth his father, or his mother, shall surely be put to death.

Leviticus 19:28

Don't get a tattoo, it's ridiculous -
 
Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks upon you: I am the LORD.

Leviticus 19:27

Don't do this -- whatever it is!
Ye shall not round the corners of your heads, neither shalt thou mar the corners of thy beard.

Deuteronomy 23:1

You're no good without balls -
He that is wounded in the stones, or hath his privy member cut off, shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD.

Mark 10:11-12

Don't get re-married -
Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.

Corinthians 14:34-35

Don't think or speak in church, ladies -
Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law.  And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church.

"Sinners, eat Zaqqum to intensify
the torment of the
Khati'un 
(
Koran Sura 69:36-37);  it tastes
like Like molten brass... then
boiling water to quench it
Verily
the Tree of Zaqqum will be the food of the sinful. Like molten brass it will boil in their insides, Like the boiling of scalding water Seize Ye Him and drag him into the midst of the blazing Fire.
Then pour over his head the penalty of Boiling Water.
"   ~ Koran 44:43-50

Leviticus 10-11

Don't eat shrimp; don't eat manatees -- don't eat bats, but that grasshoppers and locusts are OK -
And all that have not fins and scales in the seas, and in the rivers, of all that move in the waters, and of any living thing which is in the waters, they shall be an abomination unto you:  They shall be even an abomination unto you; ye shall not eat of their flesh, but ye shall have their carcases in abomination.

Leviticus 11:7-8

BLT -- hold the B -
And the swine, though he divide the hoof, and be cloven-footed, yet he cheweth not the cud; he is unclean to you.  Of their flesh shall ye not eat, and their carcass shall ye not touch; they are unclean to you.

Deuteronomy    22:20-21

If you have a broken hymen, you should be stoned -
But if this thing be true, and the tokens of virginity be not found for the damsel:  Then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father's house, and the men of her city shall stone her with stones that she die: because she hath wrought folly in Israel, to play the whore in her father's house: so shalt thou put evil away from among you

Exodus 20:26

Ascending the altar steps might expose your genitals -
And do not go up to my altar on steps, lest your nakedness be exposed on it.

More:   

Historicity of Moses
Reverend Van Buskirk: Historicity of Captive Jews
Piers Morgan interview: Lauren Drain escaped from the Westboro Baptist church.  You Tube
Some scriptures linked to hostile acts 

 

 

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Much of this material was shamelessly lifted from
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Not everyone agrees with Ken's Guide to the Bible.  Here is a laborious critique

Patriotism is the conviction that this country is superior to all other countries because you were born in it.  ~ George B. Shaw

And so I believe that my conduct is in accordance with the will of the Almighty creator.  In standing guard against the Jew.  I am defending the handiwork of the Lord.   ~ Adolph Hitler    Amazon.com:  Mein Kampf

 

 

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Review...
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Ken's Guide to the Bible
 
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With precision and pig-iron wit, this compact volume lays bare all the sex, gore, and lunacy that the Bible has to offer.

 

Links      Does the Koran incite VIOLENCE?

 


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